The Courage to Be Disliked
by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga
What this book is, and who it's for
Kishimi and Koga's 2013 book — a global bestseller after its 2018 English translation — presents Alfred Adler's psychology as a Socratic dialogue between a young man and a philosopher. Adler, the third pillar of early-20th-century psychology alongside Freud and Jung, was largely overshadowed for decades; this book makes the case for why his goal-oriented (rather than cause-oriented) account of human behavior deserves the rediscovery. The five 'nights' work through the most uncomfortable claims of Adlerian thinking: trauma does not determine you, all problems are relationship problems, you are not responsible for what others think of you, and meaning is built by contributing rather than by being seen. Read this when the past has been doing too much of the work in your present.
How to read this book. Each chapter below is a ~30-second summary — the core insight, no filler. Open the chapters that grab you. If the book resonates, buy the full edition on Amazon (link at bottom). Affiliate-disclosed, geo-redirected to your local Amazon (amazon.nl, amazon.de, amazon.co.uk, etc.).
Opening
Chapters
- Chapter 1The First Night: Deny Trauma1 min
- Chapter 2The Second Night: All Problems Are Interpersonal Relationship Problems0.5 min
- Chapter 3The Third Night: Discard Other People's Tasks0.5 min
- Chapter 4The Fourth Night: Where the Center of the World Is0.5 min
- Chapter 5The Fifth Night: To Live in Earnest in the Here and Now0.5 min
The Courage to Be Disliked pairs well with
A single book is an argument. A stack is a curriculum. The Courage to Be Disliked appears in this curated reading path — each pairs it with 3 other books that sharpen its ideas, in a suggested reading order.
From Read Stacks · Learn
How to get more out of this book
Two short essays on the meta-skill — what chapter summaries actually preserve, and the six retention techniques that decide whether what you read here is still useful six months from now.
- Are book summaries actually useful, or am I just cheating?
Chapter summaries are a navigation tool, not a substitute. Used right, they help you read more books fully — by helping you avoid the wrong ones. Used wrong, they're a comfort blanket that lets you feel like you're reading without engaging with the material.
6 min read
- I read a lot of books but can't remember anything. What works?
Forgetting most of what you read is normal, not a personal failing — your brain wasn't designed to retain prose at the rate modern readers consume it. The practices that DO work share one thing: they force you to USE the material instead of just consuming it. Six specific techniques, each tested across decades.
7 min read
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